the world may end soon

i'm cleaning

my mom isn't home to rule her supremacy over me
to make me do it
it's all free will

wowow

yah i like tegan & sara

:(

don't be so afraid:
to let someone down
to be real
to be authentic

there's no moving forward
in being nice to someones face
under obligation

its just a setback for you
and you're just pushing back
those who you were unable to be honest with

learn to face the facts:
being hurt is a human emotion
that sometimes must be faced

being a people please sucks
if you can't draw the line

much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks

i feel like a child
i'm scared
i'm embarrassed
i'm scared as hell

though i'm not like a child
in the sense
that in this particular instance
i don't know how to be naive
and although optimism is a beautiful belief
it's wings can only carry me so far
before realism sets in like a cold winter

i knew the reality the whole time
i tried so hard to ignore the reality
so why now
why is it being pushed on me
it's never been relevant
it never will be relevant

this is torture

:O

this was so easy to ignore
to push away
but now i feel so compelled
to take hold of it
i can't ignore it anymore
it's calling me
and i'm sure i'm walking into the ocean
to do nothing more than drown

i'm sure i will drown
but i still feel such a push
that i have to do it

and who knows
maybe i'll drown
and find new life

HEAVEN IS HERE

so along with the hot releases mentioned earlier this month,
i also got the best present ever!!!!!Softsoap Vanilla Brownsugar!!!


thank you

woo fucking hooo

fuck you

who did it

i'm trapped
in the wrong body
in the wrong time

it's so frustrating to look around
and realize
the the body in which my soul has been placed
is entirely incompatible

the saying goes
if life gives you lemons, make lemonade

well what if i wasn't made to make lemonade?
what if i was made to make a whole different juice?
or maybe not even juice at all?

that's how i feel
like i was made for something else
and the time i'm in
and the body i'm in
is forcing me to compromise the purpose
in which i was originally made
and jump ship to a new purpose

this
is a good example of a cluster fuck
everything around me, including my own body
is pushing me to change
but in my heart i know that the change is a digression
so with that in mind
why should i change
why should i digress
when really it's the world around me
that has the issues

your beautiful tears:)

they finally came
i've been asking for them for so long
and you finally showed me them
it was beautiful
like fireworks
and in my head there was beautiful music to along with it

i'm sure that it was a once in lifetime opportunity
so i'll remember it forever

thank you:)

see you next tuesday;)

i reached the limit

say hi to a brick in the face

i'm stretching myself
i'm wearing thin
i saw from the beginning
how much of a stretch it was
but it was
compulsion
infatuation
and optimism that made me do it

that's what will keep me in it
until i've worn myself so thin
that i can't keep going

Laces Out, Dan!

Good song for this mood;)

wow

totally different out come than what i predicted
DEFINITELY for the better.

it's so interesting to see how i had a certain thought in my head
and it turned out so differently

now i just have to keep some other lessons i've learned
in my head

and not just keep them but act on them

too many times i've taken a lesson
thought about it
and didn't do it

this time i MUST MUST MUST make the effort

i don't want to mess up this time

lessons

over the period of my life
i try to learn and take in as many life lessons as i can

today i will truly keep this one in mind,
and so should you

the minute you see flags, it's a clear sign to get the fuck out

holy releases

it's tuesday
that means only one thing

dvd releases

today's a HUGE day
probably this years 2 best fucking movies are out today


Inglourious Basterds!!!!

and...

The Hangover!!!!

what a great fucking day:)

holy late

this is the second time in a row that my lunch
has been put off til 2 or later

there's no logic behind this though
but i feel like it's going to make me fat
from like. stress or something



next week my frieend from montreal is coming
this is probably the most exciting thing
that's happened in a long time
i have lots of plans
dinner
movies
surprises!!!

it's going to be a goooooood night

these random thoughts again

i've found myself wanting to see someone cry again
totally different reason as before
but i'm starting to wonder about these thoughts

i know exactly why i've wanted it to happen everytime
like with most things, i know the logic
but there are so many things/people saying the thought is wrong
but it doesn't seem wrong

don't get me wrong, my intentions aren't to purposely hurt someone
just to get pleasure out of it
i have my reasons
and my reasons seem more for the better

yet the crying part still seem strange

i did it!

kind of..

it's the closest i've been
in a long long time

and it felt damn good
i missed the feeling
i miss the feeling again

it took long enough for it this time
it'll probably be a while til it happens again

i hope not though

i want you

i've wanted this for so long
but i never wanted if it was possible
now i want to know
i want to say something so bad
is there a point
would anything be accomplished
or will it just make things worse

guuurl

i'm not too sure if i should be
feeling sorry for you or not

you put yourself into this

but time has passed

have you changed?

or is it all the same?

one day

is all it takes apparently
for this world to be transformed
into a winter "wonderland"
there's so much thrill behind this snow
but for what?
it's not even nice snow
it's hard
it's icy
it broke my windshield wiper

so i have to "wonder"

where's the wonder in this wonderland.
cause i'm not seeing it.

on a better note.
yesterday i had go for tea
first off, the restaurant was REALLY nice
very modern and very classy
it was a bit dark, but the lighting
on the table was more than sufficient
i had chicken, but vietnamese style (i think viet)
it was for sure different, but it was real meat
and delicious. The rice.. was rice ahah always good
i also ordered some chinese style toast with condensed milk
SOOOOO good. very sweet so i could only eat half.
luckily emily was there for the other half.

next we're off to TenRen

a report will surely follow

rap. mmmm

this is probably my first big FAV when it comes to rap

hellooooo

i don't know where you came from
but you have found me

i don't know if i embraced you
or if you took a hold of me

there's no sense worrying about it now
you're a part of me
and i can tell you're not going anywhere
and neither am i

so we'll continue on
entwined, and doing what we've learned best
what we've taught each other
for no other reason but satisfaction

say hi to me.. please

i want to be your pillow
i want to be your safehouse
i want to be your outlet

i want to witness firsthand
the brilliance
that's barely contained
inside your chest

until then
all i have are these tiny holes
to try stare through

but for now
i won't complain
these holes are a window to your life
your beautiful life

today

sucks.. period

so many things were just simply annoying today..

so as far as I'm concerned

Sunday December 6, 2009

SUCKS

no id friend

whenever it comes to making a decision
a lot of times we think
of the pros
the cons

the option with the most pros
usually is the winning option

we're encouraged to make decisions
with the pro/con mindset

so what happens when the pros lead
to a decision that might not seem right

what is right?
why is it wrong?

we're so quick to bend the rules
to make exceptions
when something doesn't go the way it should

it makes me wonder where our credibility is
when dealing with matters of right and wrong

some education!!

today's education portion will be on stop signs!!!

Stop signs are a sign shaped like an octagon, and contain the words stop on them!

when you come to a stop sign, you must:
STOP... for 3 seconds
wait until the coast is clear, then proceed with your maneuver.

if more than one vehicle approaches the stop sign, the vehicle who stopped first has the right of way.

that means, that you DO NOT follow the rules of a green light.
you DO NOT turn left in front of someone else trying to go through the intersection


Good God some people are stupid

um...

No offense if you're American, but WOW

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/091203/national/us_canada_spy_coins

hmm.. happy thoughts:)

you really had me going
this whole time i was thinking
you were different
that you were considerate

but you're not
you're just plain ignorant

and your ignorance is far from bliss
your ignorance is obvious
it's definitive of you

it is you

YAY FOR YOUUU iPOD!

i LOVE how my iPod loves this song. It's always coming on. SOO good

yumm. titles are useless

i'm hating how
i'm finally getting ready to move on
and now i feel like i'm being remembered again

i made an impression
but it was delayed
and now that i'm making an impression
i don't know if i want to be remembered for it

it'd be easier to move on if i was still forgotten

i don't want to be forgotten
but i want to move on

i don't know what i want