:(

am i the only person who finds this mufucker funny!?!??

it seems every one i talk to didn't ever like cleveland.

i always loved him

he reminds me of stanley from the office too, who i also love!!

Can You Say Jane Lynch?

Good Lord I can't stand her

yum

i'm choking on my tongue

sleeep

it's so good.. when you get it
the odd thing is i don't get THAT tired
considering how often i actually sleep
i'm wondering how long i can keep this up for though
after all i'm still young
it's not like i even always plan on being up so late
it just sometimes happens

being tired is a definitely a fun feeling though
it's more bitter than sweet
but there's definitely some humour and fun in it

i know i can't keep it up forever
but for now...
we will never sleep
cause sleepings for the week
and we will never rest
til we're all fucking dead:)

mmmmm

Good God this is amazing right now

microwaved egg with bacon bits
cheese
on a bagel
with a can of coke

so simple- so good

such an amazing midnight snack

football season is over

in my head i'm soo ready for this
i'm longing for it
but my heart is a stubborn bitch
just like me
i think if my brain belonged to someone else
and i used my heart for thinking
that person and i wouldn't get a long too well.


-------------------

recently i wished for something that i never thought i'd wish for
the wish is fucked up
it's unrealistic

but at the time it seemed like a reality
it seemed worth shooting for
now i'm wishing for wishes
wishing that it was a realistic wish
and now based on these wishes
i'm wishing for other things
things i once thought were crazy
really
i still think they are
i'm starting to think i'm crazy

i always wondered if i WAS crazy, if i would realize it
or if any one who really is crazy has the ability to realize it

to me "crazy" people are obvious
do they have the intellect to realize their differences



such fun thoughts!

..

i fell in love with her buzzed out of my head, and i knew i wanted to stay that way forever

say hi to vera

sweeeeet picture of Vera, i think so!

dream club murders

i honestly just wish i could make you cry
just so i know it's possible
for me to make my way past the surface your emotions
to make my way to somewhere that counts
and for me to see the tangible evidence of it
i don't really really want to hurt you
in fact i want the complete opposite

so far though, i haven't even scratched the surface
i can't even see the surface

makes me wonder if i'll ever get there... again

woooow

some people have such fucked up communication skills

just a forewarning- i don't hate on people who use social networks in their day to day lives, whether it's for posting pictures or communicating.

honestly though, don't use general status updates as a message to an individual. that's just stupid. we don't quite live in a world where everyone is supposed to be able to interpret the exact meaning of your stupid fucking update.

i'm really sorry to vent over a blog like this. but, it's a message to the world, not just the individual that i have an issue with right now.

so again- please don't hate on me for this post:)

we were so on the same page

i miss it
this page is so interesting
so unique
i don't see the point in changing

maybe i'm just behind on the times
but i feel fine where i am
so why change?


if you appreciate John Mayer- this is SO worth checking out.

this sounds pretty damn good right now

four tet- yummm

..

i wanna go somewhere
i don't want a set destination
if i could i'd just drive with my eyes close
until i found nothing
or nothing found me

it'd be nice to not think about the same thing over and over again
it's not that the subject of my thoughts is so bad
it's just depressing to consistently think over and over again
how hopeless things have become

it's so interesting how hard it is to take your own advice
when it's so easy to give it out

and it's not like i don't KNOW what advice i should be taking
i'm just too stubborn to put the thoughts in effect

i shake

get over it

it's not because i'm nervous. or at least, that's not the root of it
sure being nervous makes it worse
but i shake on a regular basis
i probably shake when i sleep

i have no control over it

sometimes though,
i think ativan might help

say hi to changes

maybe fame didn't get to your head

but society did

despite of this i still love you

3:04 am thought

giving up pays off more than patience. by far

cluster fuuuuuuuuuuuck

i don't even know if i want to be done with this anymore
it's in my head so much
i think about other things so much though

i don't know if it's a result of disappointment, or if it's just me giving up.
but if it's me giving up, why am i not the one who's put this decision forth?

i don't want to give up..

..

There was no beauty in this breakdown
Your breakdown was beauty
So much that one has to wonder
If this was a breakdown

It's fulfillment
It's captivating
It's inspiring

So where's the wrong
And where's the breakdown

Agreed, some people were hurt
A lot of people were hurt
When you stop to think though
Maybe your thoughts were always on track
and ours are misguided

After all you seem to have found happiness
It's time for us to move on and find ours

fuck you yes- part 2

it amazes me how some people reply to certain things. and yes i'm a terrible victim of it too. things like:

really?
what?

From this reply comes a "counter reply"

for "really?" you're most likely to get.. "YES" or something really sarcastic

for "what?" you're likely to get the initial comment repeated.

I understand that sometimes this just shows a feeling of "shock."
Really though, it's a gigantic waste of time. I've caught myself doing it a few times, and then ask myself.. why did i reply like that..

Another thing that amazes me- is that although nothing about me in terms of diet, stress etc etc has really changed. I'm suddenly breaking out with acne. I hadn't washed my face in over a year, and I got no acne. Now from the root of seemingly nowhere. I'm getting it, and I'm washing my face. fucking stupid...

fuck you yes

a lot of times people's memories are triggered by scent. you smell something and then it brings back a memory. that's of course because your memory and scent are tied together. i'm convinced that either there's something else in there, or something close by. i heard a song today. I've never heard it before, in fact- i haven't heard much LIKE it before. Yet when the song began playing, somehow in my head I could smell cigarettes. I don't smoke; no one in my house smokes. Nor had I even been with someone who smokes. Yet my brain was telling me that I was smelling cigarettes. It happens all the time. Sometimes I smell weed. Sometimes I smell gross smells. Sometimes I smell girls. It's not like I'm always doing something in particular when these scents arrive. Sometimes they seem random, so i can't seem to associate any particular action, sense or feeling.

Each and every day, my hate for Durham region continues to grow. I used to think it'd be a great place to raise a kid. I'm no longer thinking so. I'll never curse any possible offspring with this God forsaken region.

On a brighter note. Four Tet Remixes has finally made it to my computer. I've been searching for this for A LONG time. I'm very happy to have it at last!

say hi to her

it's amazing how bitching hard it is to name a blog.

i simply don't have the patience to sit any longer though, and attempt to name it something unique. I unfortunately do unique in other ways that aren't as easy to be spontaneous with. so if i suddenly decide i don't like the title anymore. oh well. i'm not changing it

when i took the time to read some other blogs (actually really only 1) i noticed that even though, the blogs can be so simple and minimalistic- they can still be very intimate, of course providing the author is honest. So! I'm going to make this as honest as I can, and depending on how well you read into things, you should be able to learn about me.


It's amazing how my life has been placed on giant scale. No matter how good things get. Something shitty always happens to even things out. Or the other way around. It feels slightly like a curse. it for sure is an ongoing cycle of good to bad and back. I really shouldn't complain because in general that means that even though something bad might be going on, I know it's soon to be balanced out, but with that in mind I always sit in fear about when my happy moments are going to end.

Right now I'm fairly even. Maybe leaning a bit towards the shiiiit side, but not enough to complain TOO much about. It'll be interesting to see
a) What will be coming next
b) how long that feeling will last before it's countered by the other