hmm

i'm really not sure how much i've been wrong about things, and how much i've been right
seems like there are things to question.
but it also seems like everything i question things so heavily, I end up being wrong. maybe

but what really gets me is
"i can pretty much go whichever night, cause (insert problem here)"
cool so lets hang out
"no i'm gonna be really busy"
wtf
wtf

you tell me i'm like a child, and i need to grow up. well fuck. don't treat me like a child then.
just tell me the fucking truth.
I might not deal with things the best way, but it doesn't mean I can't handle it.
honestly

nothing here really means anything. but i'm letting out the meaningless thoughts like you said

the reality is that i love you
i'm waiting for you
it's clear that you need the time.
i just hope my suspicions aren't right.

say hi to...

it's not like i'm trying to brush you off
i'm just ignoring the fact
that you brushed me off
maaybe i'm just not that important
maybe i'm not distracting enough
it's ok though
there is nothing that time won't erase
i'm a big fucking boy
and crying was so yesterday
or maybe tonight too
who knows

for now
i'll just think about what's important
aka
nothing
too bad it's not that easy
everything's important
everything is so damn intertwined
and beautiful
so someday i'll know what this night meant
someday i'll know what i meant
but for now
i'll think of ghosts
in their own strange way
they care
even though they disappear now and then
they'll come back

say hi to me

for God's sake
suffocate me
I can handle it
I'm not asking you to kill me
I'm just asking you to make it
so that I have a reminder
that you're still there
I do know you're still there
but please
i'm begging you
make this tangible
make tears flow from my eyes
while I can't breathe
then save me
take me in this moment of euphoria
and then i'll be ok

i thought i could keep up
and tell you a story of my life
soon i realized that i only have so much to tell
that eventually i'll run out
and won't be able to capture you're interest anymore
and that i did

it's not like it's a bad thing
i just set the expectations for myself too high
and i couldn't keep up anymore

someday i'll know what's expected
but not today

for now i'll just not worry about it
there's no point

like it says in the alchemist

i'll focus on making today better, so my future will be the same

say hi to new

i'm new to this
i'm new to you
i'm still scared
not of you
just of not doing things right

after all
we both know you were right
i'm just a child
a bit more naive than i thought
a bit more stupid than i thought

i still want you
even though you'll never want me

i'm ready
to grow up

i won't give up on you

i want you
and thats that
i'm ready to make the step onto the same page as you
so
i'm going to do it
for more than talk
for real
for you


i love you

little bird

little bird on the ground
i'm sorry but
i can't help you out this time

but i was hoping i could borrow
a feather or two
my superman cape isn't
working the way i thought it would

it's only good for hiding behind
and i can't hide no more

i was planning on
flying her out of here tonight
but instead
she took my hands
covered in blood
and walked me out on my two feet

truth be told
it probably worked out for the best
she always knew i'd be too scared
to ever attempt to fly

little bird on the ground
i'm sorry for
what i'm about to do